Feb 11

Feb 11 Q&A: Dating

What would Valentine’s Day weekend be without a little dating Q&A? So, in the spirit of love, here’s some dating advice from me to you. Happy heart day! ❤️‍🔥

When should I bring up the exclusivity conversation?

You need to realize that being exclusive is actually a gift, and you really have to be ready to fully offer that to someone. Make sure that your desire for exclusivity doesn’t come from a place of fear of losing them or anxiety about them meeting someone else. Then, outline what your exclusivity expectations are, and be ready to bring those up when you have this conversation. Personally, I think the timeline differs for every situation, but having this conversation after five or so dates makes sense to me. However, it might take longer for some people based on the amount of time spent together and/or if they want to keep seeing other people.

We had a great date, but they have been seemingly distant since then…do I reach out?

Honestly, I would say reach out within the first 24 hours of the date to tell them you had a good time. After that, no…if you haven’t heard anything, I would let it go.

Dating feels draining. How do I motivate myself to do it?

If it’s draining, ask yourself, “Why?” If it feels like too much of a time commitment, pull back. But, if it’s draining because you feel disappointed by the outcome or the anxiety of it not “working out”, I would recommend trying to shift your expectations of a date. It’s supposed to be a light, fun time to get to know someone. You don’t have to create your ten year plan together on date one!

I feel self-conscious in my body when I’m on a date. How can I overcome this?

First, if you’re using dating apps, make sure you use current and accurate photos — no surprises for anyone, and you’ll know that anyone who matches with you already finds you attractive. Also, make sure to find one or two go-to date outfits that make you feel hot but also comfortable. Most importantly, start believing that you are not their backup option or something they are settling for. You are their PREFERENCE.